[Kido takes another drink and starts picking at the cookies now. It gives her something to focus on, keeps her from fidgeting and if she stays looking down, well, it's just looking at the food. She can't possibly cry while she eats either.]
So, uh... well, it was... me and Kano were going to go out on a date, right? I was really excited... He was teasing me like normal. Nothing was wrong. But when I went to meet him, ah...
[She turns a cookie over and over in her hand.] He started to say mean things. At first I thought he was carrying a joke too far. He does that, sometimes, you know. 'I'm not going on a date with Kido. I'm not going to hang out with Kido.' He said... you give what you get. That's why he was treating me badly, because I treat him badly. That I'm selfish for thinking I'm... that I matter enough to hurt someone's feelings. But that it's true. It's my fault.
I didn't get it, you know? I thought... it's fine if he's mad at me. It's his right to be. I'm not always great to him. If he was finally telling me how he felt, I wanted to fix it, that even if... I've never been able to do anything for him, if he felt like that, I could now, right? But... I'm a burden to him. I-I'm a burden, something replaceable, and- and- he wants me to disap-
[She chokes on the word. She can't say it. Maybe if she could breathe but his smile, the way he smiled when he told her to disappear-]
no subject
[Kido takes another drink and starts picking at the cookies now. It gives her something to focus on, keeps her from fidgeting and if she stays looking down, well, it's just looking at the food. She can't possibly cry while she eats either.]
So, uh... well, it was... me and Kano were going to go out on a date, right? I was really excited... He was teasing me like normal. Nothing was wrong. But when I went to meet him, ah...
[She turns a cookie over and over in her hand.] He started to say mean things. At first I thought he was carrying a joke too far. He does that, sometimes, you know. 'I'm not going on a date with Kido. I'm not going to hang out with Kido.' He said... you give what you get. That's why he was treating me badly, because I treat him badly. That I'm selfish for thinking I'm... that I matter enough to hurt someone's feelings. But that it's true. It's my fault.
I didn't get it, you know? I thought... it's fine if he's mad at me. It's his right to be. I'm not always great to him. If he was finally telling me how he felt, I wanted to fix it, that even if... I've never been able to do anything for him, if he felt like that, I could now, right? But... I'm a burden to him. I-I'm a burden, something replaceable, and- and- he wants me to disap-
[She chokes on the word. She can't say it. Maybe if she could breathe but his smile, the way he smiled when he told her to disappear-]
S-Sorry...